A bride’s ratings and a lesson learned

Something that most brides do not know, I do not read blog entries about me (either during the preps or after the wedding) nor do I read brides’ ratings of our team. I have learned my lesson the hard way. There was a time I tried it. Googled my name and saw a number of  blog entries. The first few were raving about how good our team was and how perfect their weddings were. Syempre ang haba ng buhok ko! Ay, blond pa! Bawal apakan! LOL! Then the fifth (or sixth or seventh… can’t remember na), didn’t give me a perfect rating. While reading it, I felt her rating was so unfair.  According to her, hindi ko raw binalik yung offertory candles after the wedding and may nawala daw kami na 2 disposable cameras. The offertory candles were offered. Out of 15 disposable cameras we put on the tables, 2 were taken home by the guests. We cannot naman conduct spot searches eh.  I cried after reading it. My friends and family know how much of my life I give to coordination. And then realized the absurdity of crying over something I can’t do anything about. I promised myself not to read ratings again. Lose-lose situation eh. If I read something raving, baka I’ll be complacent na next time. If I read something bad, I’ll be crushed (and really crushed I’ll be).

But last month, Kats, my October 10 bride last year, sent me an email of her ratings. At first, I thought sending it to me was a mistake on her part. But as I scanned through it, I realized that she wanted me to read what she wrote.

She explained in the ratings that she perhaps other brides who’ll read what she wrote would be able to learn from the mistakes she did. And since I firmly agree with what she has written, I am now sharing with you Kats’ story, in her own words.

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A dream wedding-come-true is most girl’s lifelong wish. I wish I could say I’ve gotten mine. But through the journey of planning my wedding and finally having lived it, I learned too late that amidst the celebration and all the glitter and pomp, I lacked something that could have made it “perfect”.

And so, five months after my wedding, I’ve finally come to terms with having lost that dream and had reflected on important lessons that I had learned along the way. And thus, here is my suppliers’ ratings, as part of being a W@W bride. I hope you’ll learn something as well as you read on and perhaps you will be able to reflect on your own experience as a bride-to-be and be reminded not to commit the same mistakes that I had made with mine.

First and foremost, to give you a brief background, I’ve been in a relationship with my now-husband Harvey for ten years before finally deciding to tie the knot. I’m a very OC person and I dreamt of my wedding day since I was a kid. Our wedding was two years in the making and I’ve planned it up to the minutest detail like a tactician.

Now that we’ve gotten that fact—that I wanted a perfect wedding so bad that I spent most of my waking hours for two years planning for it—settled, please read on and find out how my suppliers did for that special day and what ruined it for me.

{ SNIP! SNIP! SHE ENUMERATES AND RATES ALL HER SUPPLIERS }

And finally, last but not the least,

COORDINATOR – Clarice Anne Aviñante of Events by Clarice – I couldn’t ask for more. Ms. Clarice saved our big day when I parted from my former coordinator three weeks before our wedding (narrated in my earlier post). I knew I was asking a lot from her but I thank God she agreed to help me out in such short notice. She took care of all the details, and carried the burden that I was supposed to bear. She gave me the chance to take a breather. She was very professional. She was gentle but firm, bubbly and yet very competent and able. Do not be deceived by her Chiz Curls curly hair. She delivered, exceeded my expectations, was loved by my entourage, was admired by my mom, and she became a friend. She was the one who brought me back to the real meaning of the wedding. I was so much focusing on the celebration that I’ve completely forgotten I was marrying my best friend. She made my wedding as I’ve planned it to be, she took care of the details and shielded me from the glitches that I did not even notice. She and her staff were very efficient, they worked so well even under pressure, and covered things that my two-year planning and rigid OCness had missed. They were that good.

So now you want to know, why wasn’t it perfect after all the rave reviews? Well, my dear W@W sisters, the problem was ME. I spent nights strategizing, planning, tying loose ends, obsessing over details, stressing over back up plans that I neglected my health and my work. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating well, I was SICK on my wedding day! I threw up twice in the bridal car, kept on coughing during the ceremony, and was on bed rest two days prior to the wedding. I neglected a lot of things at work, took so much time on leave to do wedding stuff, that I had to catch up and was still working in my office until two days before my wedding!

I wasn’t able to enjoy the moment, I wasn’t able to savor that day. I merely saw how beautiful it was days after the wedding, after I’ve gotten the DVDs from our photographers, after hearing feedbacks from friends and guests, and then regretted not letting go and for not living it as I had always dreamt it should be.

Today, five months after, I’ve finally come to terms with my failure and my disappointments, and I’ve finally found the heart to write my story.

And so now, W@W sisters, thank you for reading this far and I hope you’ll get to enjoy and savor every minute of your big day. You get to do it only once, you get to live it in only few short hours, a wedding need not be perfect for you to enjoy it. Take a break, let go of the small stuff, let go of excessive OCness, and trust God. I guarantee, you’ll be “perfectly” fine.

Yours truly,
Harvey and Kathy
October 10, 2009
Christian Bible Church of the Philippines
EDSA Shangri-la Hotel

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Thanks so much to Kats (and Harvey) for allowing me to repost her email in my blog. Love you guys!