Pahirap nang pahirap nang pahirap…

I normally do not get to listen to reception speeches.  Once I am sure that the person slated to speak is already in front, I shift focus to the next program sequence. Tsaka after so many weddings, pare-pareho na rin naman yung sinasabi. Marriage is about compromise. Marriage is about giving. Marriage is a commitment to God and to each other. Don’t end the day mad at each other. Always think of the other person.

But sometimes, there are speeches that I remember even after a long time.

A ninong in one wedding said, “Ang buhay mag-asawa sa umpisa lang yan mahirap. Tapos pahirap na yan nang pahirap nang pahirap.” I laughed out loud. Being married, I can so relate to what he said.

In another wedding, the elder sister of the bride, after the normal opening lines,  said “When people ask me if we’re happily married, I reply, I am married and my husband is happy.” I was, I think, talking to a supplier then but I laughed when I heard her. The sister went on to say that kidding aside, she and her husband were happily married and that she wished that her sisterm, the bride, would be able to say years from then that she’s also happy with her marriage.

It got me asking myself if I was happily married. And I was actually surprised to realize that yes, I was. When I got home that night, I asked Jojie if he thought we were happily married and after pondering for a few seconds (first time kasi kami natanong pareho kaya kelangan mag-isip), he said that we were. I think nagulat din siya. It got us to realize that we were blessed to be happy with each other.

This happened around three years ago. Fast forward to the present. We now have a baby and our life is crazier than ever, with trying to juggle our crazy work sched and spending lots of time with Jia and with each other. I admit, there was a time when Jojie and I were alarmed because we realized that we were not as happy anymore. Not naman na ayaw na namin ang isa’t-isa or ayaw kami ng away, kasi hindi naman. In a way, though, what was happening to us was worse kasi we were not anymore talking kasi super lang kami busy. Parang you’re so used to a routine that you forget to sit down and really talk. Mabuti na lang we were able to notice that we were heading to indifference and we were able to commit to do something about it. Na-realize namin na nakakaloka pala talaga ang may anak kasi may tendency talaga na makalimutan niyo ang isa’t-isa.

So we went on dates. We talked. We had dinners together. We watched movies. And I am so proud to say that we were able to regain the connection.

A couple of months ago, my friend Grace emailed me this:

I also wanted to mention, when we were in Sentro and you were telling a story, I caught a glimpse of Bernard lovingly gaze at you when you were talking, he had this look in his eyes and his face that was undoubtedly showing love and fondness for you as you were sharing a story. I thought it was so nice to see that, to capture that moment because its so rare that you see couples really still like and love each other after many years of being together. Its so nice to see that.  Im sure he wasnt even aware of it and moreso, he wasnt aware that I saw that too. That to me made it really so touching and genuine.

I was so touched with her email and para akong may boyfriend na kinikilig kasi nasabihan na gustong-gusto siya. Hahaha!

We will be celebrating our 5th year anniversary in December. Alam ko ang dami pa naming pagdadaanan. Sbai nga pahirap nang pahirap nang pahirap. But I also know that whatever happens, as long as we’re commited to each other, then we can always work things out. Hahaha! Ang cheesy!