Mommy’s helpers… two’s a crowd :(

A part of Jia’s self concept is being mom’s little helper. She declares all the time that she likes helping and she likes “hard work”. Akala mo naman anong hard work no? Hahahahaha! Seriously, though, Jia comes up to me all the time to ask me how she can help me. Nakikita ko talaga na gusto nya tumulong.

Now, Jia is a good girl and a good ate but fact is, she is just 4 years old and sometimes acts her age (which of course is perfectly normal and okay). She sometimes gets jealous of Joya because of Joya’s “privileges”as the bunso. It has come to a point when she would, in a dramatic voice worthy of an Oscar, wail, “I wish I was born last. I wish I was the baby!” During times like this, I point out to her the benefits of being the Ate – one of which is being able to help me. More often than not, after a good bout of crying, okay na siya.

The other day, I asked Jia if she saw my book on speech delay. Since she was near the shelf, I asked her to get it for me. Joya, upon hearing my request, ran to the shelf and got the pocketbook I am reading these days. Inunahan nya talaga yung Ate nya!! And then he proudly and smilingly gave me the book. He actually gave me the wrong book but because I didn’t want him to feel bad, I told Jia it was okay and read the book that Joya gave me instead. Jia, for her part, got angry at Joya.

Less than an hour after, I told Joya that I needed to change his nappy. I asked Jia to get a nappy from the closet. Ang sutil kong bunsong anak, kaysa humiga, pumunta sa aparador at inagaw yung nappy na hawak ng ate nya. He then proudly handed me the nappy before lying down.

That was too much for Jia. Helping was her thing. She is the one who is supposed to help me. Hay! It didn’t help that I let her watch Hi-5 yesterday morning. (For those who do not know, I am normally strict about our no TV policy at home but because of circumstances the past few days, I let her watch yesterday. Grrrrr talaga!!!) After half an hour of silent tantrum, Jia just read on her own. Another hour after, she was fast asleep.

The next day, Jia said out of the blue, “Mommy, I still don’t understand why Joya helps. That is supposed to be me.” I explained to her that Joya is helping me because he loves her so much and he copies what she does. Because she knows that Joya loves her and because she knows that Joya copies everything she does, that appeased her.
Now, whenever I need something and Joya is there, I just ask Joya to do it. If I ask Jia, Joya will try to do it before Jia and then war will ensue again. I just ask Jia to do the harder things. This way, life is much quieter.
:)
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Moving on…

So I know that every other blog post here starts with an apology for being an absentee blogger so this time I won’t apologize anymore. Hahahaha! This time though I think I have a very valid reason why I stopped blogging. My last post (before the letter to Joya) was on Feb 6. Our house was robbed on Feb 8 and that just super changed our life (read: na-windang kami). A few months after that fateful incident, we have moved houses and has since moved on. I can sleep soundly again. :) So back to blogging now.

:)

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On your 2nd birthday

Dear Joya,

I know it is such a cliche but whenever I look at you, I realize that time really flies so, so fast! I cannot believe you are already two years old! Two years old! Hindi ka na baby, anak ko! :(

Ang laki mo na! You have grown so tall! Everybody says you will grow up tall like your Dad. I really hope so. You are my macho man! :)

The other day, your Dad was scolding me because he said that I do not teach you enough. I realized that it is true that I do not teach you enough. And I realized that it’s because all I do is hug and kiss you and tell you I love you! And the sweet baby that you are, you indulge your Mommy by kissing me back and hugging me. :) I love you, baby. :)

You learned to walk this year. At first you were hesitant but you were sure-footed right from the start. Now you can run so fast, my heart stops when I see you running because I am so afraid you would lose your balance. Thankfully, you rarely do. Now, you can climb up the stairs by yourself without holding the rails nor the steps. Hay, don’t grow up so fast, anak.

Last week, we were in the bedroom and Daddy jokingly slapped me. You saw it and instantaneously cried. You crawled to me and hugged me. You thought that Daddy was hurting me and you came to me to comfort and be comforted. Daddy was amazed at how much you love me. You did not even want to accept Daddy’s explanation and apologies. You sure showed Daddy who’s the boss! :)

Mommy has a confession to make. When you were about 16 months old, we were playing in the living room when I remembered that I had to turn off the stove. You were playing with the car keys and I left you for a minute to go to the kitchen. When I returned, I could not see you anywhere. I looked for you behind the couch and under the shelves while I was calling your name. It was a small living room and I could not find you anywhere! Then I heard the jingling of the keys in the second floor. I ran up the stairs and there you were, two steps from the landing! My heart must have stopped when I saw you. I thank your guardian angel for keeping you safe. I am so sorry, anak, for leaving you. I promise it will not happen again.

Even though you don’t say it, I know you love me and your Ate and your Daddy. We can all feel your love. You like to be cuddled and to be sandwich-kissed (something that Daddy invented). When you wake up in the morning, you look around and ask for the person who is not there. I think though that your Ate is your favorite as you would always try to wake her up until I tell you not to. Oh yeah, instead of saying I love you, what you always say is “I… you!” and then you laugh! That’s your little joke!

Your favorite song to sing is Happy birthday. Your favorite animal is the “doggie” but you like roaring like a lion the most. Your favorite color is orange (I don’t know why). Airplanes and cars are your absolute favorite things and swimming is your favorite sport. Oh, and no one can contest that your favorite word is MILK!!! Hahaha! You love Mommy’s milk soooo much.

Let us go back to that swimming thing… Joya, you do not have a fear of the water! It has gone so bad that I do not want to swim with you alone. :) You like jumping in the water with no regard for your safety! In the few times that I had to scoop you out, you would be laughing while coughing! You are simply adorable, my brave little boy!

When we go to bed at night, I hum Brahm’s Lullaby to you. If I forget to pat your side, you would get my hands so I will remember. If I forget to hum, you would hum for yourself. :)

Hay anak, I can go on forever talking about you and telling you how loved you are.

I love you, Joya. I love you so much. When Mommy was much younger, I read about love so deep and so powerful that it echoes from one’s being. Having you made me understand what that means. My love for you and your Ate makes me strong and humble and happy and just grateful that I was blessed with you.

Your Daddy and I always talk about you and your Ate and how we can provide you with a good life. We talk all the time about how we wish you would be when you grow up. We have so many dreams for you. I pray that you and your Ate grow up to be good people with kind hearts. I want you to be happy, Anak, as happy as you are now whenever you see an airplane or a train or a dog. And I promise that I will guide you all the way so you can have that happiness always in your heart.

Always,
Mommy

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Almost there!!

Jia: Mommy, I’m almost a grown up.

Me: Ate, no, you’re not.

Jia: Yes, I am! I am 4 years old! 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21!!! See, it’s near! I am almost a grown up!

LOL!

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Rules

A couple of years ago, J explained the concept of rules to Jia and then created one cardinal rule for her: Follow Mommy and Daddy. Whenever Jia would not follow us, her Daddy would simply ask, “What’s the rule?” Jia would answer, “Follow Mommy and Daddy” and she would actually follow. Over the years, J has added more rules. Super effective ito to the point that Jia would only be told the number of the rule and she would follow. Up to now, whenever she is not wearing slippers, J would just hold up 3 fingers and Jia would go look for her slippers. And just in case you’re wondering, Jia has never been spanked for not following the rules… she really just follows, most probably because her Daddy, whom she loves so much, was able properly explain to her the concept. Anyway, currently, Jia has 9 rules with Rule Number 1 as the CARDINAL rule and Rule Number 5 as the most eeeeewwwww for me! LOL!
1. Follow Mommy and Daddy
2. Don’t shout at Mommy and Daddy.
3. Always wear your slippers.
4. Pack away after playing.
5. Don’t pick nose and don’t eat your boogers.
6. Don’t go to the bed when you’re dirty.
7. Don’t watch TV unless mommy and daddy say so.
8. Always say “Please”.
9. Ask permission when you want to play with another person’s toy.
:)
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Mommyhood = BIG changes

You know how they say that motherhood changes a woman? Well, I don’t think one fully understands that until she becomes a mother herself. Maybe it’s just that I am not a good writer but really, I cannot think of words that adequately describe how I feel for my kids. The overflowing love I have for Jia and Joya has unquestionably changed me and how I look at life. Before I had kids, I was such a b*tch (Disclaimer: Sabi ng asawa ko hanggang ngayon naman daw. Lol!). Mabait naman akong tao but really, cross me and you will never hear the end of it. Pinalaki naman akong may modo ng magulang ko pero basta ang yabang ko. Well, aaminin ko na hanggang ngayon naman! Hahaha!. But I would like to believe that I have changed. Now that I am a mom, well, hindi pa rin naman ako ganun kabait but really, I am trying soooooo hard to be more patient and to be more life giving to everyone around me. I want my kids to grow up with kind hearts and souls and I believe that the best way to ensure this would be to set a good example.

Having Jia and Joya has lead me to my advocacies – causes which are close to my heart: breastfeeding, babywearing, and cloth diapering. I am a super fan of cloth diapers. Well, I have tickled moms now which proves how passionate I am about cloth diapering and generally, about ways to help the environment. Babywearing is also very close to my heart as I firmly believe in its power to make babies feel loved and secure. Breastfeeding… I super LOVE!!! Everytime I read about breastfeeding and breastmilk, I cannot help but be amazed at its power. Ang galing galing galing ng breastmilk! I love breastfeeding so much that I joined a breastfeeding peer counselor training. In a few weeks’ time, I will be a certified breastfeeding counselor! Happiness!

Having kids have improved my marriage with J. You might be asking how that could be since most married couples become so overwhelmed with the task of parenting that they forget each other. Well, to be honest, during the first six months of Jia’s life it felt like we were just trying to survive so deadma talaga sa joys of married life and all that crap. Hahahaha! But we both realized that that was not the way we wanted our relationship to be so we made the extra effort to date again and to live a life separate to that of being parents. As a result, I think we now enjoy a healthier married life.

Having them made me realize and appreciate my parents more. Mahal na mahal pala talaga nila ako.

Having Jia and Joya has firmed my resolve to live a healthy life. Pano na lang kung mawalan ng nanay ang mga anak ko. Haaaay! Nakakalokang isipin. So kahit na masarap ang inihaw na liempo, kare kare, crispy pata, lechon kawali, softdrinks, atbp, ayoko na.

And then there is that aspect of actually learning FROM my kids and these learnings, more surprising since they come from little people who do not even reach my hips, actually change me. I have always been OC (kaya nga ako nag wedding planner eh) and I dont like it when things don’t go as planned. A couple of months ago, Jia was holding a new book when about a tablespoon of water spilled on the cover. Syempre ang nanay nag react ng “OH!”. Iniisip ko sayang yung libro!!!! Jia also saw it and proceeded to nonchalantly wipe the book. She saw my reaction and said, “It’s okay, it will dry.” Oo nga naman. It will dry. It will dry. It WILL dry. Sayang yung  emosyon na binigay ko dun. Matutuyo naman eh. That was such a revelation for me. It was a BIG learning. I really have to stop sweating about the small stuff, matutuyo naman eh. Worst case scenario, eh di masisira yung libro. Sayang, oo, pero libro lang naman yun.

A couple of weeks ago, I was so harried and Jia wanted to bake. While I was mixing the batter with the mixer, Jia was running a one-sided conversation, talking about just about anything and everything. Madaldal kasi sya!!! Hahaha! Tapos bigla nyang sinabi, “Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a mommy like you. You are the best!” My heart melted and right there and then, I decided that despite the sleepless nights, the never ending worries and second-guessing yourself, nothing… NOTHING… is as fulfilling as motherhood.

Yeah, this mommyhood thingie has definitely changed me.

:)

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

Growing up, Christmas was magical for me. It was (and still is one of) my favorite time of the year. I thank my Mom for that. When I had Jia and Joya, I promised myself I will make their Christmases special, too. :)

Yesterday was Christmas and we had a blast (expect for the fact that I got sick in the late afternoon). As with any Pinoy home I think, the celebration started on the 24th. Jia and I decorated the gingerbread house we baked from scratch (I’m sorry, ako na ang dakilang nanay!). She had so much fun doing it and even her Daddy joined in the decorating! :)

 

When we were almost finished, I remembered we do not have pine trees yet so Jia worked on kneading the dough so we could bake gingerbread pine trees.

We finished the house…

and put it in the place of honor. Where else but beside the tree?

Jia and Joya’s Uncle J, Tito D, Tita M, and U, Jia’s favorite cousin, joined us for Christmas Eve dinner. Jia led the prayer and as usual, she thanked Papa Jesus for everything (Thank you for rice and karekare and… what’s that, mom? thank you for bagoong and chicken and gravy and spaghetti and rice again…). Basta kakatawa yan si Jia mag pray.

Can I just say, my seafood kare-kare was just sooooo good! Hahahahaha!!! Kelangan talaga ipagmalaki! Pero promise ang sarap kasi and it was my first time to cook seafood kare kare. :)

Since I have not seen my siblings in such a looong time (well, kasi busy sila), we had fun catching up during dinner. Oh well, madaldal naman kasi talaga kami! Hahaha!

My family went home shortly after that while we just waited for Noche Buena.

When it was around 1140pm, we went down again (without Joya this time because my little boy was fast asleep) and started to open the gifts. Jia was sooo excited.

She opened Tita Abie’s gift first and syempre sinuot nya agad! Hahaha! Thanks, Tita Abie!

After opening the gifts, we had our simple Noche Buena (we had Smoked King Salmon and salad because we do not eat meat anymore) and slept shortly after.

Christmas morning, Joya woke up first (well, he was the only one who didn’t stay up late). As usual, the first thing he did (after drinking milk) was to go to his ate. I caught this super cute picture on camera of the two of them holding hands while Jia was still half-asleep.