Mommyhood grumblings

Last night, Jia didn’t want to sleep yet. I actually asked her yaya to play with her so she would get tired and fall asleep but to no avail. Haaaay! That’s what happens when she has afternoon naps. Around 1030pm, she wanted to go down to play with me and to be read stories (again!). I asked J to read her a story. Told him it’s never-ending storytelling and feeding time for me. He said “But, hon, nagwo-work naman ako buong araw eh.” Since he had a point, I didn’t argue anymore. Totoo naman kasi, alam ko pagod na pagod din siya. Nakakatulog na nga siya sa sofa eh

So I shut down the computer (was researching something… has been on it for the whole THREE minutes that Joya has been asleep), and brought Jia and Joya upstairs (ito petty pero sa inis ko, hindi ko ginising si J habang tulog siya). We went upstairs, I read Jia a story, and then we slept.

Jia has her own bed. She loves her bed and in fact, think it’s her sanctuary. Nobody as in NOBODY can sleep there except her. She actually cried when J put Joya there once. She tells her Dad not to lie down there. She says it’s small and he won’t fit. But recently, she has realized that she and I could fit there so every night she asks me to sleep beside her. I think this is an effect of my never-ending feeding with Joya – she sometimes feels abandoned. At totoo naman kasi, ang takaw ni Joya na hindi na kami natatapos sa pagmi-milk. So at the end of the day, when her Dad and Joya are already sleeping, Jia would ask me to lie beside her so we could sleep beside each other. Then, in th emiddle of the night, when Joya wakes up for a feed, I have to go back to our bed. Pag mejo “minalas” ako, Jia would wake up in the middle of the night and cry and ask me to go back to sleep beside her. It happened once that I had to transfer beds four times!

I know I am lucky I am able to stay at home to be with the kids and see their every milestone. I know I am super blessed that my husband can provide for us and I am not pressured to work. I also know that I was the one who chose this. I also know that it’s impractical to get a yaya for Joya. But sometimes, just sometimes, I wish the kids will sleep more hours than they will be awake.