My life’s biggest drama – Part 2

Note: Part 1 is titled The Biggest Scare of my Life

I am currently in line for consultation with my nephrologist, Dr. Agnes Mejia. I switched to another doctor and this is only my second consult with her. The first consult was good enough to convince J and I to switch to her in spite the fact that my old nephro is part of my HMO (read: FREE consults and lab tests). She was very thorough during our initial consult. She even asked for all my lab results during my pregnancy with Joya. She says that my hematuria (presence of blood in the urine) has been very sporadic. So far I have had four episodes of hematuria, with each episode lasting from one night to five days. She believes that the first (the one in August) was caused by a strep infection but the last three was caused by…well, other causes. Now the task is to figure out what causes it. She asked me to redo my urinalysis and to do it two times. She even gave me specific instructions where to have it done (NKTI lang pwede), how to collect specimen (hindi pwedeng dumapo sa kahit anong parte ng katawan), when to have it done, etc. She even gave a me a flowchart of her thought process and how she’s going to analyze my symptoms! Talk about being thorough to the highest levels!

I am still in a constant state of worry and fear.  Each time I hug Jia or Joya or J, ninanamnam ko talaga. Hahaha! I really, really want to be around for the kids when they grow up. I know, I know, I’m being so dramatic again (hence, the title) but I just really want to be with them. My friend Ting messaged me last week. She told me to be strong and Thy will be done. Sabi ko natatakot ako sa “Thy will be done”. Pwede bang will ko na lang? Hahaha! Gusto ko lang naman mabuhay for the kids. Hindi naman abuso yun. She replied, may point ka dun sa Thy will be done. Hahaha! Honestly, I know that His will will be done and I know that He knows what’s best. Pero siguro naman hindi ako masisi ng Diyos kung dasal ako ng dasal na sana wala akong delikadong sakit. Hay! I am so scared I even ate ampalaya! Hahaha!!!

Looking at the bright side, I am now so zen about things. Except when it comes to health, I can actually let go of so many stuff now. Plus this is giving me energy to deal with the everyday things. Like kung normally magre-reklamo ako (well, sa sarili ko lang naman) kasi pagod na ako cleaning house, feeding Joya, and telling Jia stories (again and again and again.. hehe!), ngayon I do everything, if not with a smile, at least not with a grudge. Ayoko pa rin dumating a point na hindi ko na magawa itong mga ito.

O cia, I am now next in line.